Sunday, 11 April 2010

Scu-becchi: An unnecessary mess

So, the reason for Steph and Toadie's extended rendezvous away from Ramsay Street has been revealed - he is going to be the "daddy" of her Dan Fitzgerald-made unborn sprog.

Though the not-so-loved-up duo have yet to reveal that Ms. Scully has an embryo floating around inside her, they used this week to convince their friends and family that they are love's young (ish) dream, so that when the Erinsborough community realise Steph has a bun in her proverbial oven, they will assume it's Toadie's tadpoles that have created the little tyke.

The story sounds good in principle, as while there has ultimately been heartbreak for now-walking-again Lucas and cute dog trainer (I think that's still what she does) Sonya, it at least protects luscious Libby and bothersome Ben from learning the truth about sexy Stephanie and deceitful Dan. (I'll tone down the alliteration from now on, I promise).

But why can't the eldest Scully child just spin the yarn that she got a little too steamy with a stranger in a nightclub. It's hardly an unbelievable turn of events, as with her biker-chick foxiness and ample chest, Steph would surely have no trouble getting a geezer to poke her.

The mechanic's step-daughter Summer continues to play a weighty role in the street, this week encouraging Harry to not give up on his dreams of making the school basketball team and embarrassing class douche bag (yes, I did just use the word douche bag) Macca in front of her giggling pals.

Neighbours has been devoid of a takes-no-crap gal since the radiant Elle left our screens and while Summer is not as feisty or delectable as Paul's journalistic daughter, she is not far off it and has been a very welcome addition to my TV-watching life.

The other big news in Erinsborough was that Dr. Karl has returned from his sojourn to Milaaaarn, sporting "snazzy" new attire, with his much-anticipated Italian-crafted reading glasses proving to be the butt of many a character's joke.

The Kennedy patriarch - with a far-from-chic pink jumper, which he rather stupidly opts to drape over his shoulders, and brown suede loafers - now looks as though he is auditioning for the presenting role on tedious BBC daytime fare Bargain Hunt, but the show certainly lacks a comedic, and often condescending, punch when KK is on one of his European jaunts.

Karl's stepson Ezekiel - or Zeke for short - put his brief flirtation with felony in the past and resumed his radio career, albeit under the unwanted guidance of Paul. Never one to miss a bit of money making, Senor Robinson has demanded that PirateNet plug any item going, a scheme that may put even more spondulix into the obliquitous tycoon's already-swollen back pocket but is straying too far from the station's publicity-free, devil-may-care stance and alienating many of the original listeners.

That's the view of Mel, anyway, the sultry blond minx, PirateNet's manager or something. There's a point. With Rebecca as CEO, Zeke as programme controller and Paul the master puppeteer, pulling strings behind the scenes, what exactly does Mel do?

If she wants a new job, I've got some suggestions. My personal masseuse, my personal kiss tester - you get the gist.